You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
