My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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