If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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