There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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