You're completely useless in the revolution.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Randomize
