I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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