Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
