I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
