I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time