I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.