Im at strip club and am horny
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.