I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed