My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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