We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize