she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize