well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
