i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize