He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
