he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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