he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
