you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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