My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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