we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
