Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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