He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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