Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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