I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize