Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
