Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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