I must be too annoying 4 u.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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