i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
