worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
