We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize