Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
