do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
