Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
