i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
