one might say we're banned from that church
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
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You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just pee around me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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