Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
