My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
