is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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