similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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