I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell