The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.