Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo