He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
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A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.