I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My penis needs a shock collar
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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