I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize