We won't sleep together?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Can Purell be used as lube?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
