It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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