I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
