I want to have your abortion
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize