dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
