Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
