I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
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I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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