I cockslap morals
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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