standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
