so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize