Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
