Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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