WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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