i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
